Talking to your child about divorce is not easy. You may struggle to answer questions they have because you feel like you don’t have the answers yourself.
Although it may not feel like it now, having an age-appropriate, gentle discussion with your children about divorce is possible, and we’ll give you our top tips for doing so.
Don’t play the blame game
Your child doesn’t need to know who is or isn’t at fault for the breakdown of your marriage. Keep details neutral and don’t look to put the other parent in a bad light.
Be open
Being as open and honest in conversations can go a long way in your relationship with your child. Let them know they can come to you with questions, or let them know which other trusted adult can provide them with support.
And if they ask something you don’t know the answer to – be honest and say that (within reason).
Emphasise stability
Parents getting divorced can be an unstable and chaotic time for children, and depending on their age they may have questions regarding living arrangements, siblings, and pets to name a few.
Emphasising what parts of their lives will stay the same will help your child feel a little more stable when navigating this difficult time. It can also allow them to feel a small element of control in a situation that is very much out of their control.
Discuss the positives of any changes which will need to be made to their daily lives will help them.
Remind them that they are loved
As tempting as it can be to skip this step because you assume your child already knows they’re loved, it’s so important to remind them. A child whose parents are going through a divorce can often wrongly assume it’s their fault or that their parents must not love them anymore. While you know this couldn’t be further from the truth – a gentle reminder can go a long way in comforting them.
Seek guidance
There is a wealth of guidance available for parents, including on the CAFCASS website and it’s important you know what options are available for your child. By learning as much as you can about the family justice system processes and protocol, you can ensure you’re as well equipped as possible to handle what’s occurring.
Validate their emotions
Validation is just as (if not arguably more) important than reassurance when it comes to talking to your child about big life events.
Put simply, this essentially involves reassuring your child that whatever emotions they may be feeling are okay and valid; and that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to feel about the situation.
In fact, validation is so important that studies have suggested that children’s accurate attention to their emotional awareness may be shaped by their parent’s use of emotional validation/invalidation.
Seek legal advice
At King Street Solicitors LLP, we offer an initial 30 minute appointment to new clients going through a divorce. We are happy to chat on the phone before arranging an appointment – we want to ensure that you see the right solicitor for your range of issues. If you would like to find out more about our services, contact us today.
Disclaimer: The content in this blog post is for informational purposes only and should not be seen as formal legal advice. King Street Solicitors is not responsible for any reliance on the information in this post. We do not take responsibility for the content of any external websites linked in the post. Any link to a third-party website should not be seen as an endorsement by King Street Solicitors.